Saturday, July 29, 2006

More Good News

I just came back from a week away (first at my aunts cottage, then at a place in Huntsville- more to come on that soon) and I came back to more good news!

True Volume Two
In February I received an email from someone who was putting together a compilation book of stories of how God has moved in people's lives in different circumstances. She came across my writing from the Impact Devotionals that I do for the MAD Christian Radio Show and she was wondering if I would be interested in submitting something for the book. I of course said "yes" and sent in a submission.

Today I received the news that my submission was screened by the panel and has been accepted for the book which is titled True Volume Two (the follow-up to True Volume One) and is being published by Zondervan.

Obviously it's quite a honor to have something that I wrote put in a book like this! Watch for it in stores soon!

And I know what some of you are thinking "Is this the something major that was mentioned in the previous post?" Well the answer is no, this is pretty awesome, but there is still something pretty huge in the works. It's so hard not saying anything, but a promise is a promise. More on that to come in the next few weeks :)

I have been looking for work for the past couple of weeks, but I haven't had any luck in finding anything. Most of the summer jobs were given out months ago and many of the ones that remained either required that I speak French (which I don't) or have my own vehicle (which I don't).

So in the meantime I've been doing a bit of work for one business (just a few hours a week). When I was out of town my Mom took a phone message offering me a job! So between the two, I'll have enough hours to make some extra cash and not be working so many hours that I won't have time to complete the two other projects that I've been working on. God is good :)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Great News!

This has been the week of good news all the way around!

This morning I got a lovely email indicating that its looks like I will be approved for a student loan! This is nothing short of a miracle because I was told by almost everyone that there was no way this would ever happen. If everything works out right I will be starting my next round of courses in September, which in itself is another miracle- this is the fastest my student loan has ever been processed! Praise God!

Radio Show
For quite a while now I've been wanting to upgrade the equipment that is used to record the show, but I haven't been able to because its just so expensive. But again God has provided! This week a sponsor for the show came on board who has generously agreed to provide new equipment and assist in promoting the show across Canada- another huge answer to prayer!

Something Major
And if that wasn't enough, something else really major is in the works. Unfortunately as much as I'm dying to, I can't share details until everything is finalized, but I can say that this is huge. If it all works out, a lifelong dream of mine will be fulfilled and it could open so many doors for my future!

I promise to give you all details as soon as I can!

Praise God for His provision once again!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Toronto Trip

Good Report: My Mom received a good report at the doctors. It looks like the treatment has worked and thus, its safe to leave things "as is" for now- she will be going back in the fall to confirm. Obviously this is a big answer to prayer- thanks to everyone who took the time to pray!

Starbucks: I always find it kind of a contradiction to be walking in the busyness and hype of Toronto and have that all fall away just by walking into an establishment. Yet this is the type of environment that the good people at Starbucks have established. Good coffee- good quiet time.

Music: Albums from Warren Barfield, Downhere, Paul Wright, and Hawk Nelson made the driving time fly by. Plus on this road trip I realized it's official: I am officially a radio geek. I unapologetically scanned through the dial while passing through every city- much to the annoyance of the other passenger at times.

People: During my travels over the past couple of years, I've met some pretty interesting people. This trip was no different. We made friends with a little boy at the hotel who proudly held the door open for us as we walked through with our luggage. He later told his mom "look- those people are our neighbours! I helped them and they helped me!" Kids are cute.

I also spent some talking to the lady who runs the hotel gift shop. I think she remembered me from the last time we were there in May. She was quite surprised to find that I was using the arcade games the hotel had installed and I didn't try to justify it. Actually- I wouldn't be surprised to see her playing taxi the next time we go back. You gotta have some fun...

Things I would have rather avoided
Traffic: I don't know how people in Toronto can drive through that traffic on a daily basis. We got stuck in two traffic jams: one for almost an hour. The other for 20-30 minutes.

Impatient People: While we waited in the doctors office, three people (out of the eight that were in there) were angry that they had to wait to see the doctor. One guy kept approaching the secretary every few minutes, reminding her that he was still there waiting and "had a very important day a head of him." I don't know what bothered me more: his rudeness or his assumption that he was more important than every other person in that office, including the doctor. I'm not one to usually get annoyed by other people easily, but I was very annoyed. So much so that I left the waiting room and went for a walk outside. I don't envy doctors or their secretaries their jobs for more than one reason.

Distance: Sometimes its easy to forget just how far Timmins really is from Toronto. Well when you do most of the driving yourself and its up one day and back the next, you realize it. It's too bad Timmins wasn't located a little further South... not that I'm complaining or anything. I really do love life in Timmins.

In Conclusion
All and all, it was a very good, but short trip. And in this I found one advantage to be unemployed and uneducated: it gives me the freedom to "go along for the ride" whenever there's an opportunity. That's not the worst place to be in.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Going, Going, Gone.

Tomorrow morning I'm off to Toronto for my Mom's doctors appointment. If all goes according to plan, I will be back on Thursday night. Prayer for safe travel and good results at the doctors would be appreciated!

You Were There

You were there when I was a child
Running scared and terrified of fear.
You were there when I was abandoned
Feeling hopeless and anger still.
You were there when the walls fell down
And I was standing there in the rubble
(No idea of where to go from here).

You were there when I was alone
So unsure and yet unnerved.
You were there when I was forsaken
Feeling hurt and mostly plain unsure.
You were there when I was broken
Pieces laying there on the floor.
You were there when I had enough
Desperation craved without a word.

You were there when I finally turned
Facing and believing truth.
You were there when I finally accepted
Took You at Your Word.

But now my life is changing at a pace I can't ignore
And somewhere deep down inside I wonder,
Are You here? Do You know?
Do You see me in my pain?
In the times I cry? In the days I hurt?
Do You know my deepest fears? Those unspoken words?

And in this place that I don't like, I hear Hope
It whispers now and answers my doubts.
You are here, You do see, You do understand.

Ever when I can't see You
You're standing next to me.
Even when I can't feel You
You're holding me tenderly.

The truth of the matter is
Nothing separates me from You.
You were there, You are here
And You will be here always.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Submissive Prayer

Lately I've been struggling with the idea of how to pray over a situation that I feel strongly about, yet still submit to the sovereignty of God. You know how it is when you find yourself praying about something and you know the way you want it to turn out. Yet at the same time, you struggle how to pray for that knowing that God may have something else for you in mind.

For me right now there is nothing I want more than to just be healthy again. I've been struggling a lot this weekend because I really don't want this cyst. I still have nightmares from my last surgery and the complications and while looking back I can see God's hand in it, I don't want to go through that again. At the same time though I'm very much aware that in the past God choose not to heal me from this and so while I'm still praying for healing, I don't want to be completely self-centred in my prayers or my outlook on my life.

So this weekend I found myself in that place of not knowing what to say, but knowing that saying nothing was not the answer either. Thankfully I found out though that I'm not the only one to have this dilemma. Jesus, during one of His most difficult hours in the Garden of Gethsemane, faced the exact same struggle:

[Jesus] went on a little farther and fell face down on the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting Him might pass Him by. "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine." (Mark 14:35-36 NLT)

Once again Jesus showed the perfect answer to one of my dilemmas. Jesus prayed for what He wanted in the flesh, yet at the same time surrendered Himself to God's perfect will. Through one quick prayer, Jesus told God exactly how He felt about what He was facing, asked for what He wanted, yet was still submissive in the fact that deep down He wanted God's way, not His own.

And so while on Saturday I was caught up in a few moments of wrestling with God, today I'm approaching Him with a completely different prayer:

"Father God, I know that with you all things are possible. Please take this away from me and restore my health. Yet I want Your plan for me, not mine."

Saturday, July 08, 2006

In This Storm

In This Storm
Things are changing
Wars are raging
I can’t see a thing.
My life is flashing
My hope’s are dashing
And here I stand in vain.

In the midst of this pace
I look for You and Your grace
Yet here I stand alone
Where are you my God?
Can you see where I am?
I’m so lost right now
I just don’t know.

The sky is darkened
My fears are sharpened
As I weather this storm
My foundation is cracking
My assurance is lacking
I don’t know where to go.

The lightning cracks
The thunder rolls
And in this storm
I find I’m not alone
He’s never left me alone.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

2-4-1 Special

So today I received my test results and it turns out that I do have both an infection and another cyst. I thought it would be one or the other, but I got the two for one deal!

But all the news is not bad. The infection is being treated by an antibiotic and the cyst is small enough that it doesn't necessarily mean surgery. Unless I have more pain I'll be waiting until the end of August before making any decisions. At that time I'll go for an ultrasound to see the size of it- if it's smaller, then we can leave it. If it's bigger, then it'll be coming out.

It's been a crazy ride and from the news today it's not over yet. But at least I know that I'm not riding alone.

Monday, July 03, 2006


So I finally made it through the semester! I didn't think it would be possible to get all the work I needed to get done in the time that I had, but somehow it all ended up working out!

This past week was intense as it was filled with exams and last minute assignments, but on Friday afternoon I got everything handed in a few hours before the deadline. Talk about relief!

Saturday morning I got up early and went to the Bible study that I've been a part of for the past few months. I haven't been able to go as much as I've wanted to, but for the times I have been there, it has been really good. I've been challenged and I've been stretched and I've been blessed to have a small group setting where I can feel free to just be myself.

After study I spent the rest of Saturday and part of Sunday at my aunts cottage and it was a blessing. The cottage is the one place that has always been somewhat of a refuge for me and this time was no different. I got to spend some good quality time with God, which has been hard to come by lately. During this time I also learned a few things that are very applicable to my life right now and one of them is that this is a time to wait. While it makes sense circumstantially, now it also makes sense spiritually. I'm not one who takes to kindly to doing nothing- I like to be heading somewhere, anywhere. But right now I don't have a choice but to wait and to trust.

So I'm going to be using this unemployed, uneducated time (for however long it lasts) to wait upon God and get to know Him better and see where this journey ends up taking me.

On that note, I must thank you all for your prayers- they have made such a difference. I still don't feel the greatest, but it's not as bad as it was and I feel a real peace regarding all the situations in my life right now. Thank you. I have my test at the hospital tomorrow and I will keep you all updated on how everything turns out.