Yesterday I re-arranged my room. Well correction: my Mom and brother re-arranged my room while I stood by and directed traffic (lifting is still a no-no). While they were moving things here and there I had the thought "this room would really make a great office", but then reality kicked in and I realized that my bed has to go somewhere and my Mom isn't willing to knock down any walls (trust me, I asked).
I don't know what it is, but I really want an office. Maybe it has something to do with having to study at the kitchen table, record the radio show in my Mom's room, and an answer a slew of emails when fielding everyone else's social calls. Or maybe I just want an office.
Just recently I was promised "anything I wanted". Foolishly I went big and asked for a car. Today no car sits in my driveway and I sit here and stare at four walls and dream of what could have been.
But today I realized that being given an office wouldn't solve the problem. Sure, I would have a consistent place to study, read, record the show, and answer emails, but an office won't solve the real issue of finding satisfaction. True satisfaction is never going to be found in computers, cars, ipods, or even offices. Trying to find satisfaction through chasing wants is always a waste of time because there's always going to be another want (Proverbs 27:20).
I'm learning more and more that true satisfaction can only be found in one place: our relationship with Christ. It can't be found in riches, or perfect health, or other relationships. It can only be found in Him.
As C.S. Lewis once wrote:
"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
So today instead of wishing for a bigger room or a new office, I'm going to take the space I am blessed to have and spend some time alone seeking satisfaction in the right place. In the only place.
"It is a solemn thing, and no small scandal in the Kingdom, to see God's children starving while actually seated at the Father's table." A.W. Tozer