Throw It To See If It'll Stick

I can remember when I was younger watching in awe as my Mom would cook spaghetti in the kitchen. When the noodles were done boiling, she'd take one noodle out of the pot and throw it up against the wall. If it stuck, she knew that the noodles were ready. If not, she'd let the noodles continue to boil.

In many ways I feel like my life lately has become it's own little version of "throw it to see if it'll stick". It's like I've got this bowl of opportunities and of things I worked and dreamed so hard for and all I can do is keep throwing this items out of the bowl in any direction that I can think of to see if it'll stick somewhere, anywhere.

One example of this is my education. For many years I worked so hard on completing my university degree by correspondence. It was something that I loved doing and pushed through a lot of obstacles to do. But then there I was, a little over a year away of being done and my health took a nose dive, closing that opportunity to continue. Leaving me with nothing else to do but throw those courses to see if it'll stick somewhere. Will I be granted another extension to wait and see if I'll be well enough to resume school in a few months, years? Will the university count my credits towards a diploma, certificate, anything just so I have something besides debt to show for my work?

Then there's my book. No, not Walking Through A Fallen World, but book number two. I spent all last summer working on this manuscript and after 8 months of throwing it around everywhere to see if it'll stick, I've got nothing. No publishing deal, no agent, no golden opportunity. Just a message that I really believe in and would love to see it spread to the masses.

And while this period of throwing stuff out to see if it'll stick has been frustrating, I've been reminded of something pretty important tonight- just like noodles only stick to the wall when they are ready to eat, God will only let things in our life stick when those things are ready to go forth.

Maybe that means that there's another essential chapter my book is needing that I'll only be inspired to write in a month or two or ten. Or maybe that means that my university experience has fully equipped me for what I'm doing now, which I do love and plan on continuing as far as the eye can see, and to take on more courses would just be a waste of time and money. I don't know. But what I do know is that the One I follow is worth trusting.

So today I'll keep throwing my things against the wall, but instead of shaking my head in frustration as the fall, I'll trust. And when the day does come when one of those things stick, I'll rejoice in knowing that it's happening in the right time, in the right season, for the right reason.

Costly Grace

Yesterday I was at the library with a friend and we came across two books from Dietrich Bonhoeffer. We each took a copy out to read and the one I choose was The Cost of Discipleship.

So far it's an amazing read and I can see why I've read so many Bonhoeffer quotes in other books over the years- he's one wise writer.

Here's a quote to leave you with. While it's a little long, it does pack a punch:

"Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without cost, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.

Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.

Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ.

It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son; 'ye were bought at a price,' and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us." (Dietrich Bonhoeffer in The Cost of Discipleship)

No Condemnation

Romans 8:1 "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."

I know most of you have heard that verse before, but do you believe it? When satan brings those past sins to mind and oh he does, do you know that those very sins have been separated as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12)?

Do you know that there is nothing in all creation. Not death. Not life. Not angels. Not demons. Nothing in all creation that can separate us from our heavenly father (Romans 8)?

He loves you mistakes and all. Because when He looks at us He doesn't see our shortcomings. No, because of what Jesus did for us and because we accepted His payment for our sins, all He sees is a clean slate.

Those mistakes that keep you tossing and turning- gone. Those let downs you regret- vanished. That one moment you wish you can take back- it's no more.

We can beat ourselves up for years, but it won't change the fact that in God's books there is nothing written about that event. The only thing that God keeps written down is whose name is in the lambs book of life. And if you've accepted Christ as your saviour, your name is there and there is nothing else to worry about.

In fact the only thing you've got left to do with regards to your past sins is to forgive yourself and move on. Satan would love nothing better than for you to live in your past, feeling condemned and guilty. But that's not where you belong.

At the cross Jesus said it is finished. Forgiven. Done. The slate is wiped clean. You need to believe, accept that, and give yourself the freedom to move on.

God doesn't condemn you, so you shouldn't condemn yourself. God doesn't reject you, so you shouldn't reject yourself. God loves you, so you should love yourself.

The Bible tells us in Christ we're a new creation. It's like the old canvas was painted over in bright white paint and now God has the paintbrush in His hands and oh my, is He ever painting a beautiful picture with your life. Believe that. Trust in His forgiveness. And get ready to watch God do amazing things in your life. Because that's exactly what a loving father does for those children that are His!

This Is Summer?

I look at my calendar and I see that it's the month of May. I step outside and I could swear that it is November. It seriously feels like fall weather here, which is kind of a downer when you've been really looking forward to summer.

As much as I love living in the North most days, other days I think my DNA was wired to live on a beach. And when I look at pictures like this, it pretty much confirms that theory. If I have my way, I'll be in that location sometime soon. ;)

Twenty-six

So today I turn 26.

This year I've faced some hard times, but also some really good times.

I've questioned and searched and more importantly learned.

My worldview has shifted and my ideas have been challenged.

It's been a growing year and for that I am so thankful. Even though physically I sometimes am so tired that I feel like I'm wasting away, I'm living that Bible verse in the fact that inwardly I'm being renewed everyday. Not just in my mind, but in my heart and soul as well.

I can accredit these changes to a few things, but the three that stand out the most are as follows:

The Word of God
This year, especially over these past few months, I've felt the Bible completely come to life for me once again. Verses are popping out left, right and center, and even with my very poor memory in other areas, I'm remembering lots of what I'm reading and I'm able to apply it to my daily life. It's incredible how loud the Word of God can speak, especially when we are purposeful in listening.

Alone Time
In September I did something that I've never done before- I went away for a weekend alone. Just me, the bush, and some wild animals outside. I was kind of scared of the silence beforehand, but I learned to love and treasure it not long after I arrived. So much so that before cottage season was over, I went back out for another solo weekend. During that time I was able to think, reflect, plan, and dream like I hadn't done in quite some time. As much as I like people, I learned that sometimes it's very healthy just to be alone for an extended period of time. It gives you clarity that an hour or two of solitude just can't always give you. This summer I plan on going back for more.

Friendships
I know this kind of contradicts what I just wrote about alone time, but I've really learned the value of having quality relationships rather than just quantity. Over this past year I've become really good friends with two new people in my life and these relationships have challenged me in what I believe and have made me a better person. I'm very grateful for their presence in my life and I value my time with these people so very much.

So that's a brief summary of year 25. What lies a head for 26? I'm not sure. But I do know that whatever comes my way, if I continue to renew my mind in Christ, I will be more than prepared for whatever it may be. Because in both the good times and the bad times there's nothing like having Christ in you as a reminder of your hope of Glory.

"People always want to define you by what you do. I started saying, ‘ I’m not too concerned with what I am going to do. I am more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people.’ I was convinced that what we do is not nearly as important as who we are." (Shane Claiborne)

“I tend to live the way I drive. I want to get from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time and by the easiest route possible. But I’ve come to realize that getting where God wants me to go isn’t nearly as important as becoming who God wants me to be in the process. And God seems to be far less concerned with where I’m going than with who I’m becoming." (Mark Batterson, Wild Goose Chase)

Not too brilliant

Whoever dreamed this photo stunt up wasn't too brilliant. Part of me doesn't believe it was even a photo shoot because no one in their right mind could think that flying a plane that low over New York City with two fighter jets at its side would be a good idea.

Those poor people on the ground (and in the buildings) deserve more than just an apology.

Dreams

Have you seen the video from Britain's Got Talent yet? If not, view it here.

It is so refreshing to see someone who hasn't given up on their dreams succeed. It just goes to show you that no matter what our dream is and no matter what obstacles are in our way, we should never stop believing. Because one day that door of opportunity is going to open and when we walk through, our lives could be changed forever.

Macleans

Writing like this goes to show why I look forward to receiving my copy of Macleans in the mail every week.

The Effects Of Adversity

"Be on guard. Stand true to what you believe. Be courageous. Be strong. And everything you do must be done with love." (1 Cor. 16:13-14)

I've been privileged to know quite a few pretty amazing people in my lifetime. People who look and act like Jesus and make me want to do the same. As I've gotten to know some of these people very well, I've noticed that they all have something besides their faith in common and that they have all faced times of adversity and come out on the other side stronger.

The struggles have come in different forms and in different times but they have all produced the same result. People who have forsaken the worlds definition of success and instead wholeheartedly pursued only after the things that advance the kingdom of God.

I don't think we can ever fully understand how adversity effects character, but what we can know is that it does have a huge effect on a persons life. The way you and I respond to trials and tragedy literally can change the course of our future and the shape of our character.  

Knowing that then, shouldn't we change the way we respond to adversity? Instead of viewing adversity as something to get through or get over, maybe we should view it as an opportunity to become the people that God created us to be. The kind of people who love God and love people with a passion and inspire others to do the same.

So how can this be accomplished? By exercising patience in times of waiting. By looking to God for strength when you are at your weakest. By sticking to your morals even when the cost is great. By loving your neighbor when it would be that much easier to hate. And by breathing, living, and walking your faith even when the world is telling you to throw it away.

By doing all of these things we open a door to growth and change in our lives, even when the storms are at their fiercest. And it is in that place that God can truly transform us into the kind of people He wants us to be. As Billy Graham once wisely said, "Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has."

Wake Up!

"Even if everyone around you chooses to sleep, you must resist the temptation to join their slumber. Wake up! Get out of bed. God wants to change the world through your life if you'll only just do something." (Erwin McManus, Chasing Daylight)

On Our Level

A few years ago we got a dog that we named Gracie. She's a poodle/schnauzer mix, so she's quite small; in fact she can only reach my knee if she's on her hind legs and stretches right out.

Being so small, Gracie has a different perspective of our household. She can't see what's on the countertops in the kitchen or the end tables in the living room and as much as she'd love to lick our faces, they are more often than not, completely out of reach.

That said, while Gracie loves a good game of fetch or a long walk, nothing gives her more pleasure than a little routine her and I have developed. Nearly every night I get down on the floor and sit there with Gracie. Where once I was out of reach, now I'm down at her level. She'll nuzzle her head on my side. Jump up and try to paw at my hair and her favourite- climb up on my lap and sit there pressed against me. Gracie simply finds pleasure being with me.

The other night as I was down on the floor with her the thought occurred to me of how my experience with Gracie parallels our experience with God. Like Gracie, we've all been created with a need to love and be loved. And as much as we search to find things on this earth to fill that hole in our hearts, we come up empty. But the good news is we weren't left to wander down here alone. Instead God Himself came down. He got down on His hands and knees so to speak and entered our world. What was once inaccessible and unavailable to us all was placed right in front of us through Christ's death on the cross and resurrection- the curtain that separated God from mankind was torn down.

God Himself came down and He waits for us to turn to Him. On days when we're lonely. During times when we're troubled. And even throughout times of great rejoicing. He comes down and He seeks to share these moments with us. Whether we need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to laugh with, God is there. And unlike in human relationships when we only make ourselves available to others at certain times or when we feel like it, God is there 24/7/365.

So will you turn to Him? So often we get so wrapped up in our worlds and our problems that we forget that we've got a friend waiting on us. But He is there and He promises that when we call on His name, He will be there. So will you call on His name? Will you stop going through life alone and instead take this friend with you for the highs and the lows?

He is waiting. His offer of love stands. The question is whether or not you'll accept.

Twitter

So I've finally joined the twitter revolution. You can follow along at twitter.com/kristenmcnulty!

Today's The Big Day

U2's new album finally drops in stores! To say I'm excited is an understatement.


A little preview for you:

Sunday Thoughts

Why is it that usually those who have the most to complain about complain the least?

Could it be that they've learned a lesson that would serve us all to learn? That strength really does become perfect in weakness. That character is only truly refined in the hottest fire. And that God is close to the broken-hearted.

Wisdom from Twain

"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)

25 Things About Me

I finally filled this "25 Things About Me" thing out on facebook and I thought I'd post it here as well:

1. I love to travel, but I've not yet been outside of North America. My favourite place that I've visited thus far has been Chicago.
2. While I watch quite a bit of movies, I seem to miss out on many of the big ones. I have still not seen all of the Lord of the Rings movies, any of the Chronicles of Narnia, and most of the Star Wars films.
3. I only got my first cavity this year.
4. I have lived in the same town all my life and show no signs of moving anytime soon (for the record, I actually like it here!)
5. I dislike shopping with other people. I want to go in, get what I want and get out.
6. I wrote one book and had it published. I have another one finished that's waiting to be published and ideas for two more.
7. Growing up, I would play hockey with my brother all the time. We had a rink outside, I was on a hockey team that played Saturday mornings, and in the summer we would play with rollerblades on in our unfinished basement. If that wasn't enough we developed our own version of mini-sticks called "hallway hockey" that we would play in the house. Yet with all of this obsession with hockey, I rarely watch it on TV and don't keep track of teams or stats.
8. During the year 2007 I slept only 3 to 4 hours a night and survived, although I wouldn't recommend it!
9. I own a copyright.
10. My nickname as a kid was "the memory elephant" because of my excellent retention skills. Fast forward to the current day and while I can remember useless bits of information, I can barely remember what I did two days ago.
11. I own a cell phone, but I barely use it. I'm "plugged in" when I'm at home, but when I'm out, I want to be disconnected.
12. Not only do I have a huge love of reading, but I adore books. I have three bookshelves that are packed full of books and it's a struggle for me to pass a bookstore and not go in and buy something.
13. I love news, current events, and politics. I visit various news sites multiple times a day and actually subscribe to MacLeans. If we had cable tv or satellite, I'd never get anything done.
14. If I get sick, it's rarely a "normal" sick. I've been told more times than I can count by doctors "I've never seen this before" or "this shouldn't have happened". Yes, I'm unique.
15. I've developed a love for photography and terms like aperture, shutter speed and ISO have become a part of my vocabulary.
16. When I'm tired I have a hard time pronouncing certain words. Not good for someone on the radio.
17. I refuse to eat seafood of any kind.
18. I've worked at a few different places, but I've never been on a job interview.
19. I've set foot in all of the Great Lakes.
20. Although I wouldn't consider myself I poet, I did win a poetry contest once. I got some pretty sweet prizes too.
21. I have 3/4 of a university degree and while I'd love to finish it, that doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon.
22. I own both a PC and a mac- let the battles begin!
23. I rarely get surprised. I usually have a sense of how things are going to turn out or what's going to happen before they actually do.
24. My way of unwinding is playing Tiger Woods Golf on my xbox 360.
25. The best thing in my life is hands down my relationship with Jesus. I don't know where I'd be without His strength and grace.

Embracing Life

Lately I've been learning to treasure every day, every moment. Not waiting to live, but embracing the miracle found in each moment here and now.

I'm allowing myself to dream, opening my heart and mind to the possibilities that exist and the God who is the ultimate dream-giver. In Him all things truly are possible and it's only in Him that abundant life is found.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

Too many times in the past I've let the thief steal moments from me, content to just let life take it's own course, but no more. I've been grabbing the reigns and not just letting life happen, but going out there and creating my own life story.

Going to Chicago. Spending time in God's creation on my own- canoeing and reflecting. Seeking out friendships. Buying that Hemingway and actually reading it. Playing hockey and giving all I have until I can barely stand (oh they joys of sleep troubles). And this weekend: travelling to a province that's right next door, yet I've never visited, for a hockey and ski adventure.

Life is a gift and gifts are meant to be opened and used. How have you been living lately?

Washed By The Water

As part of my job, I research information about different songs out there and find the stories behind them, which is really interesting work. Recently I was trying to find out where Needtobreathe's "Washed By The Water" came from and I was challenged by the story.

"Washed By The Water" was inspired by a situation where the lead singers father, who is a pastor, came under fire by a group at his church. The song is a way of the son remembering how well his father handled the experience and says he felt his dad deserved a tribute for his Christ-like reaction to a hurtful situation.

That lead me to think about the way I respond when other people throw darts in my direction. Do I extend the same grace that has been given to me? Or do I hang onto old hurts and look for ways to even the score? Those are important questions to ask and consider, especially during those times when other people don't necessarily agree with everything that we do. Just some food for thought.

Needtobreathe - Washed By The Water
Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light

People started talking
Trying to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father
Said he made the wrong choice

Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water

Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won't never ever let you down
won't fall, won't fall, won't fall as long as you're around me

Real Legacy

With upcoming transition in the White House, we're hearing a lot of talk about George W. Bush and his legacy. And while there is a lot of criticism flying around about the choices that he made in office, I find it interesting that not more people are talking about what could very well be his real legacy: his commitment to turning the tides on the AIDS epidemic in Africa like no other leader of his time.

If you're interested in seeing another side to the man that so many have painted negatively, click here to read the article. It might just surprise you.

How He Loves

I heard the song "How He Loves" for the first time today and it really impacted it me. The second verse especially blew me away. You can listen to the song on the video below. And if the song alone doesn't do it for you, click here to listen to the story behind the song. All I can say is "wow".

Top 4 of 2008

So now that 2008 has passed us by, I thought I'd take a little look back. And instead of doing a top 3 or top 5 or top 10 like everyone else on the planet, I've chosen a different number. It's going to be my top 4. So here it is:

Top 4 Highlights:
1. Trip to the US, with the top four highlights from that being visiting Chicago, golfing the Bull, having a waterpark in our hotel, and visiting Lambeau Field in Green Bay.
2. Visiting Barrie in December, having the chance to work out of the LIFE offices and attend the staff Christmas party.
3. The growth of MAD. In this past year I've seen a lot of new stations sign up for the show and it's been an exciting journey.
4. Spending a Sabbath weekend by myself at my aunts cottage. No TV, no internet, no telephone. I did a lot of thinking, reading, writing, and canoeing.

Top 4 Books I Read in 2008:
1. The Shack (William Young)
2. The Sacred Echo (Margaret Feinberg)
3. Half-life/Die Already (Mark Steele)
4. The Almost True Story Of Ryan Fisher (Rob Stennet)

Top 4 CD's of 2008:
1. The Glass Passenger (Jack's Mannequin)
2. Drive It Home (Paul Alan)
3. Do You Feel (The Rocket Summer)
4. Something To Say (Matthew West)

Looking forward to in 09:
1. Possibly seeing my second book published.
2. Reading through the whole Bible again (yes, that's one of my goals for the year).
3. Traveling somewhere this summer. Not exactly sure where yet, but I'd love to head back out to the East Coast if the rest of the fam is up for the journey.
4. Learning how to take better pictures (another goal for the year).

God With Us

"All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’)." (Isaiah 7:14)

God with us.

One of the most stunning truths about the Christmas story to me can be summed up in three words: God with us.

The same God who was the mastermind behind creation confined Himself to a baby's body. The same God who ruled over creation was content to be brought up by human parents. The same God who is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords was willing to humble Himself to die for those very beings who refused to worship and obey. God with us.

When we're tired. When we're discouraged. When we don't feel like we can make it through another day. God with us.

I can see evidence of God with me everyday. I see it in the sunrise that streaks across the sky. I see it in the music that moves my soul with every note. I see it in the people He sends across my path just when I need them. I see it in the circumstances He orchestrates into a brilliant set of events, otherwise known as my life story. God with us.

Not just today. Not just tomorrow, but forever. No matter what life events arise. No matter what our days hold, we've got God with us and that fact changes everything.

It puts the hope in the hopeless. The peace in the turmoil. And the love in what otherwise would have been lonely. God with us.

That's the Christmas story. Not just sheep and wiseman, but what the birth set in motion. Events that had been contrived by the ultimate God of love. A gateway for all mankind to enter that would allow them to once again fellowship with the Father. The ultimate story of Redemption.

This Christmas as we laugh, eat, and exchange gifts, let's remember God with us. Not just today, but for all eternity. We're not alone and never will be and that eternal presence of God is worth recognizing and celebrating.

Merry Christmas.

Christmas Prayer

In preparation for the ever so quickly approaching Christmas day, I thought I'd share a prayer with you that I found online. It was written by Henri Nouwen. He prayed:

"Lord Jesus, master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. We who have so much to do seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day. We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us. We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom. We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence. We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light. To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!"

As I look at the packed calendar, busy stores, and crazy next couple of days as I travel out of town, that prayer is on my heart and my mind. In the busyness, I truly desire to seek quietness and I pray that in the midst of all the distractions, we all can see Him clearly this Christmas season.

City of the Year

GQ has named Chicago it's City of the Year. I couldn't agree more.

I've always been somewhat fascinated by the city and after visiting Chicago this past summer, that fascination has grew into a slight obsession. I cannot say enough good things about the city. The people, the scenery, the parks, the architecture, the food, the shopping, I could go on and on and on.

Out of the places I've been to, it's by far my favorite city and I'd love to go back. In fact I've already started giving subtle hints to the rest of the family that I think we should go back there this summer. I can dream, can't I?

Politics, Politics

Politics can be a dirty business, but I don't think that I've ever seen as dirty of a move as what's been going down in the Canadian parliament these days.

We just had an election in October. The Canadian people had spoken. The Conservatives were given a mandate to be the leading political party. And now three other parties are crying foul and deciding to go through the backdoor in an attempt to grab power.

A lot of things bother me about this situation and what it says about democracy, but one of the things that bother me the most is the lack of respect being shown for the voters choice. Not to mention those who voted for the Conservatives, but even for those who voted for the NDP and the Bloq. They voted NDP and Bloq for a reason- they had different beliefs in what's best for the country than the Liberals or Conservatives do. But in one swift move, the leaders of those parties are trying to take the votes that were given to them and are trying to hand them to another party. That's essentially what is happening.

What does that say about democracy? When we went to the polls in October, all voters knew that whatever party had the majority of the seats would lead our country. The voters gave the Conservative Party the most seats. Love them or hate them, that's what happened. So now to go and try to reverse that at some attempt to align parties that couldn't be more opposite looks like nothing more than a desperate attempt to grab power.

As much as I would have said a few weeks ago that I wouldn't want another election, I really believe that's the only option we have if we hold democracy dearly. But that choice belongs to the Governor General. And whatever the Governor General ends up deciding, I do believe that this is an attempt that in the end will backfire. Anyone who voted NDP or Bloq will probably think twice about voting that way in the future because look what happened to their vote.

Oh the messes we make...

Seniors Do Hip-hop

Does anyone else find this hysterical?

While You Wait

My article "While You Wait" has been published on The Ooze. Click here to check it out.

Tiger Woods Golf

On Tuesday I had minor surgery to correct some foot problems that I've been having since I broke my toe earlier this year. So this has been a week filled with lots of down time for me, but I've found something to occupy my time: an addiction to Tiger Woods Golf on my xbox 360.

I've had this game for months, but I've really gotten into it over the past couple of days. Maybe it's because the game is filled with summer images and it's so cold outside. Maybe it's because I wish I could really drive the ball over 350 yards in real life. Or maybe I'm just sick and tired of TV. I don't know. But what I do know is I'm loving it.

Off to spend more time on the links...

Wisdom from Saint Frances

"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace
That where there is hatred I may bring love,
That where there is wrong I may bring the spirit of forgiveness,
That where there is discord I may bring harmony,
That where there is error I may bring truth,
That where there is doubt I may bring faith,
That where there is despair I may bring hope,
That where there are shadows I may bring thy light,
That where there is sadness I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather
To comfort- than to be comforted;
To understand- than to be understood;
To love- than to be loved;
For it is by giving that one receives;
It is by self-forgetting that one finds;
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven;
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life."

Saint Frances of Assisi

Moment of Truth

So tomorrow is the moment of truth as we'll witness who the American people choose to be their countries next leader. Now while a change in leadership can be a good thing, I am a little concerned over what is going to happen after the results are read out tomorrow.

Why? Because not only is this election going to be a very close one either way, it also is one that all voters have been submerged in for quite some time. Sides have been chosen. Positions have been staked. And someone tomorrow is going to lose, leaving nearly half a country full of people who didn't get their way or their leader.

So will they still be willing to follow? Will they still be willing to set aside their differences a move forward with a candidate who they might not believe in, but can come to respect as a person in a position of authority? Only time will tell, but in the meantime we all should be praying for unity whether the next person in the White House is a democrat or republican.

Ch Ch Changes

So earlier this month I posted about seasons of change and since the decision has been finalized and announced to those who need to know, I can tell you one of the things that I was talking about.

Starting in this week I've decided to shorten the length of MAD down from four-hours to three-hours. Now I know to most people you might think what's the big deal? But I've been doing a four hour show for nearly seven years and it's something I enjoyed doing, but just like seasons change, the time for a show that long has come and gone and it's time to move onto something else. Something I believe will be better.

By not having that last hour to host, produce, and prep for every week I'm hoping to have more time to invest in the rest of the program. And even though this is only week one, I'm already noticing a difference. Where normally I come up with contests at the last minute, I've already got the Christmas contest and other details relating to holiday programming planned and ready to execute.

Change can be good and it can be refreshing in many ways. I guess it all depends on how you look at it and how tightly you hold on to the way things were once done.

Day of Decision

Today we Canadians are heading to the polls to decide who's going to lead our country during these turbulent times.

There has been a lot of criticism about the timing of this election and whether or not it really needed to be called. And to that I say absolutely! In our current state, the power cannot be this divided. If all of the parties were willing to work together to do what is best for Canadians it would work, but when that's not happening, something needs to change.

In these economic times, the reigning government needs to be able to have the power to act in order to prevent problems across the country. While the idea of a minority government is nice in theory, it's just not working for our country. When more time is spend arguing than acting, you know there's a problem.

So today I'm voting and hoping for a majority government who can lead us with integrity into this next stage of our countries history.

Let's get out there and vote!

Changing Seasons

Well fall is in the air and I'm still stunned at how fast the summer flew by.

I spent last weekend at my aunts cottage. As I was canoeing across the lake and watching the leaves blow across the surface of the water, I was reminded of how the seasons change in our lives.

Sometimes the change in seasons come unexpected to us, not always as predictable as something that can be recorded on a calender, but they do come nonetheless.

At the same time though I was reminded that while a change of seasons might bring change into our own lives, change isn't always a bad thing. Without fall, there would be no preparation for winter and without winter there would be no blooms of spring.

Change is inevitable but I'm learning to be okay with that.

Jesus

These past couple of weeks I've been busy doing research for my book. I'm working on the last section of the book, which is about the characteristics of Christ and during my reading I came across this quote that I thought I'd share:

"Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the Child of a peasant woman. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty, and then for three years He was an itinerant preacher. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never owned a home. He never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place where He was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself. He had nothing to do with this world except the naked power of His Divine manhood.

While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed to a Cross between two thieves. His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth while He was dying—and that was His coat. When He was dead He was taken down and laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend. Such was His human life—He rises from the dead.

Nineteen wide centuries have come and gone and today He is the Centerpiece of the human race and the Leader of the column of progress. I am within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that ever were built, and all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has that One Solitary Life." (James C. Hefley)

True Cleansing

It's been said many times that we all make mistakes and while that's true, it doesn't make us feel any better after we've made one, does it? When we've disappointed someone or disappointed ourselves, we're launched into a feeling that most people hate to feel. We feel broken. We feel ashamed. We feel inadequate. We feel human.

But when it comes to mistakes, there is one person who doesn't feel that way. And that's God. He looked at the human race and instead of seeing inadequacy in our mistakes, He saw a people worth dying for. So that's what He did. Jesus came down to earth to die on the cross for our mistakes.

Jesus came to forgive sinners, to forgive those who've made poor choices, and to forgive those who are bound to mess up again. When God looks at us, He doesn't see the stain of failure, rather He sees the blood of Christ and in His eyes, that is enough.

It's enough to cover the biggest mistakes. It's enough to cover sin. It's enough to cover broken relationships. When the blood of Christ enters your life, it washes every part of you clean. Kind of reliving too know that that kind of forgiveness and that kind of cleansing is only a prayer away, isn't it?

Weekend of Solitude

This past weekend I did something a little different for my time off: I spent the weekend by myself in the bush.

I've had the feeling lately that I needed some time to just be still and so when I found out that I could borrow the cottage for the weekend, I jumped on the opportunity.

I spent a lot of time reflecting, praying, reading, and searching. I didn't have any jaw-dropping moments, but I did have a feeling of peace inside and the experience just being able to be still in the middle of God's creation was a great one.

I did some biking around the lake and went out every day in the canoe. It was so nice to be able to glide across the water with the warm sun overhead. I think weather wise it was the nicest weekend we've had all year!

While in the bush I also did quite a bit of writing for my new book. I'm about 95% done writing the book and it's exciting to see how it's all shaped together. Over the next few weeks I plan on putting some finishing touches on it and then seeing where things go from there.

Good times.

The Examined Life

For the past couple of years I've used some of my spare time in the summer for brainstorming, praying, and dreaming over the various ministries that I'm involved in and for myself personally. This summer has been no different.

It was Plato who said "The unexamined life is the wasted life." And since I don't want to waste a moment, I figure that I have better keep examining. Some questions that I've been asking myself include:

-what is the purpose behind this?
-where do I see this going?
-is this area of my life or ministry producing fruit?
-do I still feel called to serve here?
-how can I get others on board?
-is there anything I can or should be doing differently?

Through this time of examining, I've seen the hand of God. Both through looking back, feeling His leading and seeing Him answer prayers. Some of these answers have come in unexpected ways, but that's what makes life interesting, isn't it?

The road hasn't been easy to get to this point, but I can honestly say that I am very excited about where God is directing both my life and the ministries that I have a privilege of being involved in. Changes are coming yes, but I'm convinced that change truly is a good thing!

Wisdom from Dickens

"Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." (Charles Dickens)

Pumped Up

I'm so pumped up right now. This week I found out that the MAD Christian Radio Show is going to be aired weekly on a secular radio station in Indiana!

This is exciting to me for four reasons:

1. This is the first secular station to start airing the show.
2. I just was in Indiana and while driving through the state thought "Wouldn't it be nice if MAD was aired somewhere here too?" Then two weeks later I get an email in my inbox- sweet.
3. The show is being aired right before Ryan Seacrests show, which professionally means a lot.
4. And most importantly, this is a huge opportunity for people who might otherwise not hear the Gospel get a chance to do so!

So please pray that God continues to give me the words and that He uses the words and the music to touch the lives of whoever tunes in!

Football

When I was in Green Bay I picked up a small Green Bay Packers football. I've kept the ball in my office and it's replaced my mini-basketball as something I toss around while I'm brainstorming or just bored.

Last night I had the opportunity to toss a real football around as some friends and I played a game in the park. When I was younger we used to play football all the time, but it had been a while.

We made some really good plays and some really bad ones. But better than that, it was great to be in the outdoors getting some fresh air and exercise and good to be in the company of friends.

I think I'll be planning another game soon :)

Lovin' It

For the the past couple of weeks I've consistently fallen asleep before 1:30 am! For someone with a normal sleep pattern that's no big deal, but I've been struggling with insomnia and sleep problems for years and falling asleep between 4 and 5 am had become the norm.

In order to correct my sleep pattern I have tried numerous natural and pharmaceutical remedies and much experimental treatments, but nothing had worked, until now. At the beginning of July I started a new medication and it's doing the trick!

Needless to say I'm loving being able to fall asleep at a more normal hour. With the more normal hours I've also had more time and energy to do some reading, which has been great. Over the past couple of weeks I've finished the following books:

-The Shack by William Young
-Flashbang by Mark Steele
-Wrong Way: The Fall of Conrad Black by Jacquie McNish and Stewart Sinclair

All great books. All highly recommended!

Rain

The other week I sat listening to the rain fall and it sounded like drops of tears were hitting my roof. Crying for me over the loss of time, health, opportunities and relationships.

But somewhere in hearing those rain drops hit the roof, I also heard hope. Because rain doesn’t just darken the sky and make the outlook bleak. Rain soaks a thirsty ground. It brings life to what is dying. And it washes away impurities.

Rain can be depressing. But even the darkest storm brings life to that which would have otherwise died. Maybe that’s the same for you and I.

In John chapter 12, Jesus teaches us that a kernel of wheat that is planted and grows remains alone. But a kernel of wheat that is planted and dies produces a harvest of many new lives.

That’s contradictory. After all, what person would go through the effort of planting something, only to hope that it would die? But that’s the teaching of Christ. That sometimes it’s only in death that true life is found.

For some, death is a physical separation. For others it’s emotional. For others it’s the loss of something so profound that it paralyzes them. But in that death, we can hope, because we know that in the Kingdom of God death makes way for new life.

So now when I hear the rain, I no longer feel like crying. Because I can see that each one of my losses have fallen to the fertile ground of God’s kingdom. And it’s only there that they can spawn to produce new life, better life.

Back Home

10 days and nearly 3000 kilometres of driving later, we arrived back home from our summer vacation on Sunday night.

It was an amazing time away. We had the opportunity to see so many things that it would be hard to re-cap them all, but here are some highlights:


Dutch Village
In Holland Michigan we stopped in at the Dutch Village. At first I thought it would be kind of corny, but it ended up making a really awesome day. I learned a lot about the country of my ancestors and enjoyed some really good Dutch food.


Chicago
I can't say enough good things about Chicago. It's been a dream of mine to visit the city for years and to actually be there was incredible. It's such a beautiful city and one of those big cities that still has a small town feel. We got to see a lot during our few days there including the Shedd Aquarium, Alder Planetarium, John Hancock Center, Magnificent Mile, Water Tower Place, and Navy Pier. We even went on a double decker bus tour and a boat tour of the Chicago river. I would go back in a heartbeat.


Lambeau Field
During our time in Wisconsin we stayed an hour away from Green Bay and since we were so close my brother and I insisted on making the drive to see Lambeau Field, home of the Green Bay Packers. The tour didn't disappoint. We were taken to a lot of "behind the scenes" places including the Packers private box and the tunnel that the players run through to get to the field. It an experience of a lifetime to see the place where so many legacies were made.

Blue Harbour Resort
We spent the last five days of our vacation at the Blue Harbour Resort on the shores of Lake Michigan in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. It was a beautiful hotel that we were fortunate to be able to stay at because normally their rates are pretty expensive, but we were able to get a reduced rate, plus two nights free! While there we made a lot of use of the hotels waterpark and I made a lot of use of the Starbucks in the lobby.

The Bull
Our hotel had a deal with The Bull (a Jack Nicklaus course) so we hit the links. The course was outstanding and was the nicest one I've had the privilege of playing. It was so fancy that our golf cart even had a computer with a GPS in it so that we knew exactly how far we were from the pin at any given time. Classy.

So yeah, it was an incredible time away. I haven't been on a vacation that long in many years and it was overdue. Just to be able to take a break from the routine and explore new places and meet new people was great. Wonder where next year will take us? Any suggestions?

Back in Ten

Gas: $1.45 a litre. Golf clubs: $245. A ten day vacation: priceless.

I'm off on our ten day summer holiday! I won't likely have internet access while we're gone, but I will post a full run-down along with some photos when we get back.

In the meantime, here are some sites worth checking out:

Reuter's Oddly Enough

The Fischtank

97 Seconds With God

Reading & Writing

I've gotten into the routine of writing every night before I turn the tv on and it's been paying off. Over the past two months I've written over 30,000 words, mostly for my next book. It's been amazing to watch it all come together and I'm very much looking forward to working on it more in the coming weeks. My hope is to have the manuscript finished by the end of August.

Speaking of books, I've really been enjoying the wisdom found in "It's A Good Life" by Robert Benson lately. He talks a lot about balance and uses Benedict as a model of how to balance our lives. It's given me a lot to think about.

Last week I also started "The Shack" by William Young, but after a few pages I decided to save the rest for our vacation. We leave Friday and I wanted to have a couple good books with me and I can't stop hearing good things about "The Shack", so I figure it's a good one to start with!

Happy Birthday Canada!

Today we celebrate Canada Day and I know I'm majorly biased on this, but it really is a great place to live.

To commemorate, here are some random facts about my home and native land:

-Canada has the world's longest coastline: 202 080 kilometres.

-The Trans-Canada Highway length (using the Perth-Peterborough-Parry Sound route) is 7604 kilometres. It is the longest national highway in the world.

-The world's largest island in a freshwater lake is Manitoulin Island in Lake Huron, 2765 square kilometres.

-Canada is the second largest country in the world, with 9,971,000 square kilometres of land.

-The world's highest tide is in the Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia. The mean large tide range is 16.1 metres.

-And finally, Canada is the home of the following inventions: basketball, the electric light bulb, the electric range, the electron microscope, standard time, the television, the telephone, and the zipper.

Happy Birthday Canada!

Follow the Leader

I've been so tired these past couple of weeks, even more than normal for me, so I was very grateful for the opportunity to get away for a few days. We left Friday night and came back late on Monday.

It was a good time in the middle of God's creation, getting refreshed and having the chance to just take it easy for a change.

While out in the bush I saw the scene to the right play out. A mother duck leading her little ducklings down to the lake. It was so cute and yet a profound lesson at the same time. These little ducklings had only one thing in mind: following their "leader". They weren't looking around at the scenery or watching for obstacles or wondering what I was doing with a camera. Instead, they were just focused on following in their mothers footsteps.

It reminded me of the journey that we are all on in our lives. We're called to "follow the Leader". And as much as we'd like to say that we chase after Him with no hesitation, the truth is often we get distracted by the scenery or start questioning the direction He's leading us in.

I wonder what life would be like if we were as trusting as these ducklings were? They didn't question the orders of the mother. They had no way of knowing that she was leading them to a lake that would provide them with food. They didn't know if the path was safe. They just trusted that she wouldn't be leading them to a place that wasn't good.

Oh that we could have that same level of trust in Someone much greater! A God who moved heaven and earth to show us just how much He loves us and a God who leads us down the path to everlasting life. May we all follow that God with reckless abandon.

Story Of Your Life

Story Of Your Life - Ali Slaight
Do you ever stop and wonder
Where this road will take you
Whats around the corner
Will it make or break you
Is this your destination
Or is it the start of something new?

What will you accomplish
Which way will the wind blow
For every door that closes find an open window
And everyone is watching as you write the story of your life
Of your life

CHORUS
And you won't look back
Cause it feels so right
And no matter what it'll be alright
In the brightest day or the darkest night
You will find yourself in the story of, in the story of your life

Will you do the choosing
Or be the lucky one that's chosen
Will you recognise the greatness in your smallest moments
And every step your taking,
you'll write another chapter
In the story of your life.

This week the "story of my life" took an unexpected twist. I don't mean to be evasive, but this is a piece of news that I'm not quite comfortable sharing the particulars of, yet. But trust me when I say it's definitely one of those "life shifting" things.

So many plans, so many dreams seem to be indefinitely on hold and I'm looking to walk down a pretty long road that I never fully expected.

So this isn't the path that I planned, but at the same time I've become very much aware that it is a part of the story of my life that God wrote before I was even born. This latest turn in the story is no surprise to Him. He's allowed it to come into my life and He's going to give me the strength to walk through it.

In the meantime, I'm learning what it's like to, as the song says, "recognize the greatness in the smallest moments". Life doesn't have to be full of emotional highs and perfect moments to grasp the deepest meaning. Instead I'm learning to find joy in the simple things: a drink of my favorite cup of coffee, talking about faith with friends, late night snood battles, standing outside and breathing deep the clear and crisp air.

Life is never perfect and it's not always easy, but our life stories are ones that are more than worth living.

Online Trip Planning & Saving

I love the internet. Trip planning has never been so easy (or affordable).

For the past couple of months I've been researching hotels on TripAdvisor. Once I picked out my top two in each city, I've been checking their websites randomly, waiting for a price drop or sale.

Tonight I secured the last hotel that we'll be needing for the summer road trip and I was able to get it at a price that was amazing. Gotta love the online specials!

In all three cities that we're staying in we've got hotels that are super-nice for a fraction of the cost we would have paid to reserve over the phone.

In fact, one hotel worker that I spoke to advised me to book online because they can give out cheaper rates on their website than they can over the phone most of the time.

Here's to a great trip at a much lower cost!

This Moment

It's amazing how fast life can change. All it takes is one split moment and suddenly your world can be turned completely around. Have you ever had such a moment? A phone call telling you to rush to the hospital where a loved one lay gravely ill? A few words out of a doctors mouth in an office? A split second decision where you make the wrong choice?

Everything we know. The fabric of our lives. All could be changed in the time it takes the second hand on the clock to move one notch.

We hear of these moments all the time. And while we've become quite good at not letting them fully sink in as they scroll across the evening news, there are times when the tragedy hits too close to home to ignore. And it's in those times when we realize just how fragile our lives truly are.

The truth of the matter is, we are never guaranteed any moment beyond the one that just passed. It doesn't matter how well we live or how much we serve those around us, there are no guarantees. We are only given life moment by moment and sometimes it takes a tragedy to make us realize that.

But when we do let that sink in, something inside of us changes. And it should. For such mortal beings, we have no business wasting our days and counting on an endless amount of tomorrow. As mortals we should never assume anything beyond today.

So what does that realization look like? It means never letting a day go by without telling those around us that we love them. It means never wasting an opportunity that God gives us. It means living each day as it were our last- fully, completely, and with the love of Christ radiating out of our hearts and souls. It means living our lives in such a way that if the next moment doesn't come or comes in a way other than what we expected, there are no regrets or things left undone.

Because the truth is, we just don't know. We don't know how long we have on this earth and we don't know how long our loved ones have with us. We don't know if the opportunity we have today will be given again tomorrow. We don't know anything beyond this moment. Sure we can make plans, sure we can have ideas, but no where are we promised that we'll have the time we need to live them out.

And while to some this is a scary concept, if you truly know and trust the living God of our lives, you know that what He has planned is good. He knows the number of our days and He has blessed us to live in the here and now. So let's learn to appreciate and fully live each moment that we have. Because life is a gift, this moment is a treasure, and there are no room for regrets in a life lived one moment at a time.

Music & Writing

It's been a different couple of days. I'm finally starting to get back on my feet, literally. Tonight I wore socks and shoes for the first time in nearly two weeks- I'm very proud of myself.

Now that I'm more mobile I've got some catching up to do from things that I left undone over the past two weeks, but I'm taking that one day at a time.

One good thing about being flat on my back is it gave me a lot of time to listen to music and I mean really listen, not just have it on in the background. I was given the remastered version of U2's "The Joshua Tree" as a get well gift, so I've been playing that quite a bit.

I've also been doing a lot of writing. I think this week I wrote around 5,000 words which for me is pretty good considering all the other stuff I have going on at the same time. All of the writing was exclusively for the devotional type book that I'm working on. It's really starting to take shape and I'm excited about the prospect of possibly finishing it much sooner than I anticipated. At first I was hoping to have it done by Christmas, but with the way I've been writing I could see myself finishing it by the end of the summer.

With writing this book I'm reminded of the advice A.W. Tozer gave: "The only book that should ever be written is one that flows up from that heart, forced out by the inward pressure. You should never write a book unless you have to."

That was the case for Walking Through A Fallen World and the same could be said for this project too. I can't not write it and that's exciting to me.

Broken Bones, Boredom, and Blessings

I never thought I'd say it, but I'm bored. Completely and utterly bored.

Because of my foot injuries and the "blood bubble" (yeah it looks as lovely as it sounds) that formed over the break, I've been having a pretty monotonous week.

Check work email. Ice foot for fifteen minutes. Elevate foot for 45 minutes. Repeat.

The swelling has gone down a little on the break, but the blood thing is still giving me a lot of pain and making it rough to get around. I had to go to the hospital again on Thursday and that was a challenge.

So until the "blood bubble" disappears and the swelling goes down, I'm basically stuck at home on the same routine. Which has given me the most unproductive week I've had in a long time.

But as bored as I have been, there have been a lot of sunny spots. I've been spoiled rotten by my family. I don't even have to ask for stuff, I'm just getting things left, right, and center. Usually I make coffee, but I've gotten door to door deliveries every single day, without asking. Also things I need just seem to magically follow me around the house- my laptop (awesome for watching TV in bed), my ipod, books, water, pillows, everything. I swear my Mom is "very very sneaky" (yes that's a Mr. Deeds reference- I've watched way too many movies this week!)

Other pluses: I've had a lot of time to be quiet, think, reflect, and pray. I've gotten to read two fiction books from cover to cover, which I haven't done in a long time. And I've gotten a new appreciation for what a gift God has given us with life. It doesn't matter what is going down, it doesn't matter how hard the road gets, every single day we have is a gift from above and deserves to be cherished. So yes, there are blessings even in the midst of broken bones and boredom!

Ugly Break

4 hours spent at the hospital. 3 x-rays. And one diagnoses. I've got one pretty ugly broken toe. And I'm very lucky that's all that's broken.

On Saturday night I came upstairs to find a candle my mom had lit on the stove burning out of control. The flame was huge and wax from the candle was pouring everywhere. In a second of panic, I blew out the candle and grabbed the cast iron dutch oven on the stove to move it out of the way of the flowing wax. Big mistake.

As I was moving the dutch oven, the very heavy lid slipped off and landed directly on my foot.

Instantly my foot exploded in pain. My Mom heard the crash of the lid hitting my foot, then bouncing off on the floor, so she came running and made the wise choice to take me to the hospital.

She called my brother who was out with the car and as soon as he got home they helped me hobble into the vehicle so that I didn't put any weight on my throbbing foot.

I got in pretty much right away, took a wheelchair ride to get some x-rays done and after a couple hours was told that I broke my big toe pretty badly. I was also told how lucky I am that the lid didn't land even an inch higher on my foot. If it had, it would have broken more than one bone in my foot and it would have been a messy recovery.

So for the time being I'm pretty immobile. They can't cast a toe, so I have to be very careful that it remains undisturbed so that it can heal. If I do what I'm told, it should be much better within a week. So my mission now is to keep my foot elevated as much as possible and to put ice on it so that the swelling comes down. Right now my big toe is at least three times the size as normal. The two next to it are pretty swollen as well.

But as bad as it feels and as hard is it is to walk, I'm very thankful because it could have been a heck of a lot worse!

Is it wrong to envy a dog?

It wasn't enough to have a dog bed. A carpet under her food dish. And a towel for sitting in the corner by the window. Now she's converted our heat vents into a sauna.

Do I sound bitter? Maybe a little. But she is cute, isn't she?

Burning Question

If there are two sides to every story, why is it that so often we only want to hear one?

Closing and Starting

Today brought about the close of one year of my life and the start of another. To commemorate, I thought I'd fill you in on a little look back on my 24th year and a look a head to what 25 has in store:

Highlights of 24:

Favorite memory:
-Week spent with my family in Traverse City, Michigan.

Worst memory:
-Well that's one advantage of having a sleeping problem - I don't remember things well. So maybe not remembering is my worst memory. Yes, I'm weird.

Favorite CD listened to:
Toss up between Paul Alan - Drive It Home and Jack's Mannequin - Everything In Transit

Top three books read:
-The Organic God by Margaret Feinberg
-Crowded Skies by Tara Leigh Cobble
-Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne

Surprising Accomplishment:
-Learning how to cook.

Song that best described my year:
-Walk On by U2

Five things to look forward to for year 25:

-Four state summer vacation
-Cottage season!
-Finding answers for my health problem and getting it under control
-Finish writing my second book
-Learning more about how live and minister in the same way Christ did

Macbook :)

Yesterday I picked up a new acquisition: a macbook!

I've been wanting to get a macbook for quite some time now and with my job/ministry commitments, not having a laptop is really awkward at times.

So I've been keeping my eyes open on ebay, the newspaper, etc and on Friday I came across an ad online for someone local who was selling their macbook, so inquired and ended up buying it yesterday.

It's just over a year old and has all the features I've been wanting. And the bonus was the price- very reasonable.

I'm very thankful for this new addition. I can't tell you how many times I've wished that I had a laptop. With work, C&C, and the radio show, it's going to make my life a lot easier. Plus it's a mac, which means I can take my video editing and graphic design to the next level.

What a nice early birthday gift :)

Writing and Such

Yes, I realize it's been over a week since I last posted. My sister's wedding was last weekend and I underestimated what my role was going to be in the pre-wedding preparations. I had no idea our phone could ring that much. I felt like a secretary.

But somehow in the midst of all of the busyness I also found that I feel like a writer again. I've been kicking around four ideas for my next book and I think I've settled on two to start on.

The first is another non-fiction book that'll be a devotional type book. I'm still in the early stages of planning it, but I've got around 3000 words down on paper and I feel inspired to keep writing.

The second project I'm excited about is a novel. I mentioned before that I was thinking about writing one, but this is actually a different story idea that came to me than before (I guess I'll leave that one in the "idea's" folder for now). I don't know if it's ever going to be something that I'll want to try to get published or not, but it's one of those stories I feel that I can't help but write down. I was working on it the other night and within a half hour I had the entire story mapped out from start to finish. So I'm going to keep writing and see where that takes me.

A quote to leave you with:

"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." (Ida Scott Taylor)

Not Knowing

Tomorrow I'm set to walk into another doctors office and I have no idea will what the appointment will bring.

Will I finally get the answers I've been seeking for what seems like forever?

Will it lead to more tests, more possiblities?

Will I be stuck waiting for a diagnoses? And in the meantime have no clue what I can do to get rid of these trying symptoms?

I don't know.

But I do know that no matter what happens in that doctors office tomorrow, Someone already knows how it's going to go down. He promises to walk with me through every part of life, both the highs and the lows.

So I do know Who will be with me. And right now, that's all I need to know.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love." (Romans 5:3-5)

The Cave

Right now at College and Careers we're working through a video study based on the book "If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat" by John Ortberg.

I read this book for the first time a few years ago and through prepping for the studies, I've been going through chunks of it again. A quote that caught my eye this week:

“Sometimes you are in a cave and no human action is able to get you out. There is something you can’t fix, can’t heal, or can’t escape, and all you can do is trust God. Finding ultimate refuge in God means you become so immersed in His presence, so convinced of His goodness, so devoted to His lordship that you find even the cave is a perfectly safe place to be because He is there with you.” (John Ortberg)

A Life To Give Away

I read this tonight and it really hit home. It comes from the blog of Jon Foreman (Switchfoot). You can follow the link at the bottom of this post to read the whole thing.

"Pieces of us, significant ideals and dreams, now reduced to dust and ash drifting away. Washing away. In every moment there's always the option to run from the momentary pain. momentary little alters to momentary little gods.

But maybe that's just what we've been given: a life to give away. time. meaning. love. we lay these, our gifts on the alters of our choosing. Memories, knowledge, wealth, friends, scars- these are what we accumulate. But these do not come cheap: these possessions will cost us our very lives. We lose ourselves whether we like it or not. This is not a choice. "Listen man, if you lose yourself for my sake you'll find yourself, try and hold on to yourself and you'll lose it."

Yeah, I suppose even Divine love is like that, erosion. washing over us like the rain or the sun or the shore. But to compare the two is absurd. One is life the other is death. But it takes time to tell them apart- I can usually tell which is which a few weeks down the line. The creator's love is creating, additive, purposeful. I feel more complete, more whole, more at home in the "in" and the "of". Make no mistake, he takes things away, and it hurts like hell. It sometimes hurts worse than the other sort of pain, the numb deadening sort. Maybe partly because your more alive, more aware. Or maybe because you're the hands of a friend.

But I suppose thats the difference between the doctor and the dealer: one is the touch of a sculptor one is the glove of a thief."

Read the rest...

The Portable Seminary

Today my day started with one of my favourite things: getting a new shipment of books.

I save up cash and every couple of months order a couple books that I'm interested in. By ordering them all at once I save on shipping and it forces me to be self-controlled and read the ones I already have first.

Anyway, today the book that came in that I'm most excited about is called "The Portable Seminary". It's a huge book- about 700 pages and the purpose of it is to go over a lot of the topics that you would learn if you went to seminary.

Now the people who write the book say themselves it in no way replaces a seminary education, but for people who are interested and can't afford to go or don't have the time to, this gives you a starting point for many of the topics you'd see covered there.

So I'm excited to dive into it. Some sections that look pretty appealing:

-Old and New Testament surveys
-ethics
-systematic theology
-apologetics

For myself I'm hoping this serves as kind of a diving board to get me started on studying topics that I've been interested in for years, but have never really taken the time to look into fully for myself.

Paul Alan

For years I've been a Paul Alan fan. I've made it no secret that in my opinion his CD "Falling Awake" is one of the best Christian albums that has ever been recorded.

So you can imagine how excited I was to find out that he has released a new CD! It's called "Drive It Home" and after ordering it, I got access to download the album and after listening to it a couple times, I think it is fair to say it's another classic!

Right now my favourite song on it is "To Bring You Back". Check it out on his myspace page and be amazed!

Paul Alan - To Bring You Back

are you thirsty
standing in the rain
not sure where you are
or how you lost your way
hey, hey, hey
are you drowning
in some bar outside of town
searching for something given…
not found
a crowd of people and totally alone
at the front door
but worlds away from home

light up the night’s last regret
burn your only safety net
step to the edge
it’s such a long way down

I left the ninety nine to find the one
and you’re the one
I’ve walked 1000 miles in this desert sun
only to bring you back…

are you tired of chasing the wind
underwater…
do you aspire to breathe again
are you dying
is that the best that you can do
’cause you can’t find your place in a world that wasn’t meant for you

I left the ninety nine to find the one
and you’re the one
I’ve walked 1000 miles in this desert sun
only to bring you back…

hello it’s me
I couldn’t sleep
I was just counting sheep and I’m missing you…

Weekend Seminar

So this weekend I attended the Growing A Healthy Church seminar at my church and wow, was it ever good!

Often I find we tend to overcomplicate things and with church and ministry it's no different. But this course wasn't something to add to the confusion, but rather to clarify it all. To remove all of the extra's that man has added over time and to focus on how Jesus lived His life.

So using Jesus' ministry as the framework we learned how to effectively live out a life that multiplies and blesses the lives of those we come into contact with. And this applies both on a personal level and a ministry one.

I took a lot of notes and we were each given a workbook, which I'm going to be going over many times in the coming weeks and months. I see there are a lot of areas where I can improve how I minister to others and how I grow myself. Not so much by following steps a, b, and c, but rather by having a different mindset in the way I do things.

I'm sure as I process the lessons learned I'll be posting more on it in the near future, but for now I'll leave you with a couple quotes from the seminar that are still swirling about in my mind:

"Because we're busy we settle for what's easy, but not for what's best."

"Your attitude towards people reflects your attitude towards God."

"Sunday morning is a reflection of what is taking place in people's lives throughout the week."

"You can teach skills and you can teach knowledge, but you can't install a heart for God and service in someone else."

"Because of his humanity, Jesus faced limitations like we do. Even though he passionately loved all people, he could not be everywhere at once. He knew that to reach the masses he had to invest in a few- so that the masses could be ultimately reached."

Growing A Healthy Church

This weekend I'm pumped to be attending a "Growing A Healthy Church" seminar that's being held at our church.

I've heard nothing but good things about this course and even though I'm no pastor or church planter, I'm hoping to learn lots that can help me with leading College and Careers and hopefully in other ministry areas as well.

Speaking of ministry, I got some pretty amazing news yesterday. Supposedly some Wal-Mart stores in the US are now carrying my book! I don't know how many stores have it in stock or if it's selling, but that doesn't really matter. I'm just thrilled to know that such a big chain of stores somehow got a hold of something I wrote. And through the grace of God, maybe just one life can be changed.

Stranger things have happened.

Saying "no"

Today I said no to something that I was asked to do and I can't tell you how good it feels. By nature I'm somewhat of a people pleaser (which I think deep down most of us are). So when I get asked to do things, I have a really hard time saying 'no'.

Over the years, I've gotten better at this, but I still find it difficult sometimes when I'm asked. Mostly because most of the requests I get are for good things. Great things even. But sometimes a good thing can turn into a bad thing if you're not the right person for the job or you're over-committed as it is.

So I said no. I explained that I've got a job that I love that is my focus. Ministries that are my passion. And family and friends who I'd like to spend more time with, not less.

It felt good to have the freedom to say no. I wish I could have learned this very important lesson years ago- it would have made life a whole lot less complicated.

NCAA March Madness

I don't really know very much about college basketball. If I had cable, I'd probably watch it. But I don't, so my knowledge is pretty limited.

But still something about March Madness draws me in year after year. I keep track of teams that I can't recall the names of at any other time of the year. I check stats. I watch the highlights online. And I do this all because of some genius idea: brackets.

Every year with my limited knowledge I take a random shot in the dark and pick my bracket (basically you call which teams are going to win and advance). Then I have fun watching "my teams" and seeing which ones advance.

There's probably better things I can do with my time, but I really enjoy it. And there are prizes which makes it all the sweeter. Two years ago I nearly won an awesome prize pack, but lost on the tie-breaker question.

So my bracket has been entered and until the tournament is over I'll be checking the scores and keeping track of the games. At last check I'm 11 for 13, so we'll see how well this year goes.

On A Hill Too Far Away

With the Easter season upon us, I have been re-reading parts of one of my favorite books "On A Hill Too Far Away" by John Fischer.

If you haven't read it yet, I can't recommend it enough. I'm not one to write in the margins of books, but this one had so much meat in it that I couldn't not jot down thoughts and underline paragraphs.

One quote that has really struck me today:

"Sin is what prevents even the most well-meaning of us from completely conquering the evil in our hearts. We may climb the highest mountain and yet descend to the lowest form of greed. We may find a cure for AIDS and yet be powerless against the bigotry, prejudice, and self-righteousness that festers in the hearts of gays and straights alike. We may give much of what we have to feed the poor but not be able to come up with even a morsel for the hunger in our own souls. We are a study in contrasts. We all ate of the fruit. We are filled with the knowledge of both good and evil at the same time, and we cannot always choose correctly. Something went wrong. The cross tells us that. If something hadn't gone wrong, we wouldn't need a cross." (On A Hill Too Far Away, p. 67)

The truth is no matter how hard we try, we'll never "arrive". Which is why the blood of Christ is vital and His grace is needed to carry us through each day. There truly is wonderful power in the blood.

Hound of Heaven

"As for me, I look to the Lord for his help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord Himself will be my light." (Micah 7:7-8)

Those verses have been the cry of my heart for the past couple of months because of a certain situation that I've been watching unfold. And while for a long time it seemed like the situation was covered in darkness, I am now seeing cracks of light break through into the darkness.

So I wait in faith and I trust that one day very soon the darkness that fell like a blanket will disappear completely. Not because of anything I've said or done. But because while an army of believers have been on their knees praying, the hound of Heaven has been leaving the 99 to pursue the one who is lost.

And I trust that one day soon that lost sheep is going to be found.

MAD Media & Design

For the past couple of years I've learned quite a bit about creating websites. And what started off as a hobby has really taken off.

I designed a site for the MAD Christian Radio Show and from that two people saw it and asked me to make similar sites for them and it has kind of snowballed from there.

I'm currently maintaining 10 different websites and with the increased workload, I figured it was about time I set up a website for myself. After all, what looks worse than a web design business that doesn't have its own website?

So I've launched a site under the name "MAD Media & Design". MAD being in tribute to the MAD Christian Radio Show. You can check out the new site at www.madmediadesign.ca.

Longing

Today I felt a longing I haven't felt in months. I want to go back to school. I miss it.

I miss completing assignments. Learning all kinds of neat stuff. And being in that kind of environment.

Don't get me wrong- I love my job and I wouldn't stop it for anything. But if things were back to normal with my health, I could have the best of both worlds. Work on finish my schooling and work part-time, like I was doing before the summer. After all, the last time I checked there isn't a huge demand for people who have 3/4 of a degree.

Actually, maybe it isn't the school that I'm missing the most right now. Maybe what I'm missing most is what 'normal' used to be.

Getting up early. Driving my siblings to work. Picking up a cup of steaming hot coffee. Stopping in at the gym. Putting in a full day of school work and a couple hours of work work in the evenings. Going out with friends. Taking part in sports. Having hobbies. Experiencing restful nights and fruitful days.

Life has changed and with that change has come a 'new normal'. And maybe not having school is only a small part of the equation. Because the longer this goes on the more the 'new normal' starts to look just like the 'normal' and that can be a hard thing to swallow sometimes.

Is it wrong to so greatly desire something that you used to have? I don't know. But I do know that what I don't have here is temporary and truly, I could be a lot worse off. I know that and I'm grateful. I also know that those who are 'missing something' are often the ones who end up with the most in the end, just not in the ways they thought.

Tonight I'm comforted by the words of Rob Lacey as he interpreted the beatitudes:

"I'll tell you who'll laugh the last: the people who don't think to much of themselves, who know they're a mess- their ticket to heaven's already in the post (first class).

Who'll be happy? The people who know about grief, who don't shove the mess behind the sofa, but face it- God himself is going to put his arm around them.

Who'll be content? The modest, gentle types, who don't go round grabbing- they'll be given the world.

Who'll be laughing? The people who only want to do the right thing, like it's their food and drink- their 'good news in tray' will be piled high.

Who'll be laughing? The people who don't hold grudges, who forgive and forget- they'll get treated likewise.

Who's laughing, deep down, already? The people who aren't polluted with stuff that mugs the heart- they'll get to see God.

Who's laughing, deep down? The people who stop fights and start friends, who turn fists into high fives- they'll get known as God's children.

Who's laughing? The people who get slapped down for doing the right thing- they get given the security code to heaven's gates."

Things I Want To Do

When I was younger I made a list of things that I want to do while I'm alive. Over the years, I've been able to cross some items off my list. But I've also added more.

So here is my list. Any suggestions? What do you want to do throughout your lifetime?

Things I Want To Do
*items in bold have been crossed off. Although for most, I wouldn't mind doing them again :)

-Travel to: Chicago, Nashville, Colorado, California, Europe (Holland, Switzerland, Italy), Cayman Islands, Panama, Israel, East Coast of Canada, Washington DC, South Carolina
-Set foot on an aircraft carrier
-Go on a missions trip
-Get my boating licence
-Learn how to ride a horse
-Write a book
-Ride in a helicopter
-Take an extended road trip or train trip on my own
-See U2 in concert
-Work in Christian radio
-Go white water rafting
-Go to GMA Week
-See an NHL hockey game
-Be an extra in a movie/tv show
-See a baseball game at Wrigley Field
-Get a hole-in-one
-set foot in all of the Great Lakes
-Complete an Incredible Adventure
-Go whale watching
-Learn how to fly a plane
-Ride a camel
-Go rock climbing
-Learn how to take really good pictures
-Open my own business
-Drive a BMW
-See an article of mine in a big magazine
-See a musical
-Visit an art museum
-Drive a motorcycle
-Master digital video and audio editing

Paradox of Faith

Do you ever feel like faith can be a huge paradox sometimes? That's the way I feel right now. It's not that I don't trust God, it's just that I don't know how to act based on that trust.

I have been praying for something for over a year now. There is a situation that needs God's intervention but the people involved seem to be ignoring His leading every chance they get. So as a bystander who really cares about the people involved, what do I do?

Does moving towards acceptance mean that suddenly I'm more passive in my prayers? Or is there a way to to accept what's happening while still 'storming the gates of heaven' for change?

I'm not sure. As hard as I try, accepting the situation 'as is' seems all too close to giving up faith that it would change. But at the same time I don't want to live at odds with reality.

Thus the paradox.